If I never publish original fiction, how much will I regret it? Would not publishing original fiction be…would that be dying with my song stuck in my throat? Would that be too-tight shoes that have forgotten how to dance? So what’s the joy in “Child”? Figuring that out, or finding it, or listening for it, has been what’s slowed me down in the writing, and why the sequel to “Ad Astra” keeps dropping down the priority/enthusiasm list. But … the joy of writing “Man of Iron, Child of Magic” was introducing Tony to the magical world. Oh, not entirely so there are parts of it that I think have real spark in them, of course. I’m writing “Child of Iron, Goblet of Fire” because my fans want it. I haven’t been doing much of that lately – not even with the fanfiction. It’s about enjoying the process, all of it. I’ve sunk a few thousand into classes and books and conferences Tom’s spent tens of thousands on games. If that were original fiction, it would be a career.ĭo I want the writing to be a hobby? A hobby I’ve sunk a few thousand dollars into learning to do? But what does that mean?ĭoes it mean I get more out of saying “I’m writing X” than actually writing and publishing X? But I regularly finish fanfiction and publish it – 70 works so far. I answer: I didn’t/don’t want it badly enough. I know it’s the ICBM, but I keep thinking, if I wanted this, why haven’t I taken real, honest-to-God steps to achieve it? That sounds like I’m disappointed in myself well, I am. Many things have come easily for me it hurts that writing fiction hasn’t been one of them. If I don’t try, nobody will make fun of me (or otherwise criticize me). What do I gain by not writing, not publishing, original fiction? If I don’t try, I can’t fail. I’ve tried writing things just for me, and almost every time, that Inner Critic comes in – Inner Critical Bitchy Meddler – ICBM, like the weapon. It just seems like that doesn’t work for me. Somewhere, I got the idea that original fiction *matters* in a way that fanfiction doesn’t, and that’s been killing me creatively.Ī lot of writers talk about reclaiming the joy in writing, or as Holly Lisle once put it, taking a busman’s holiday and writing something fun, just for myself, something I’d never, ever dream of publishing. It’s easier to appease the Inner Critic in fanfiction, because “it’s only fanfiction it doesn’t really matter.” When I write, I keep hearing the Inner Critic whispering, “You’re not doing it right,” whatever that *it* might be – description, characterization, plot, whatever. But it happened to Mercedes Lackey it could (however unlikely) happen to me. Yeah, that’s part of it, and I hate that it is. Is it just laziness? Taking the easy way out, because I write good fanfiction and I have a lot of fans, and that’s easy and comfortable.ĭo I take refuge in fanfiction because it’s comfortable? TOO comfortable?ĭo I just not want to take a risk? But that comes back to, what am I afraid of?Īm I afraid people won’t like it, I mean REALLY won’t like it and turn stalkerish and/or dox me? More to the point: even though we’re already set for retirement?)įailing to sell anything? (It’s not like I’m selling anything NOW.) Making more money than Hubby? (Even though he’s told me that’s not an issue for him. Why have I been focusing on fanfiction so much, rather than original fiction? I have two completed short stories – why have I not done covers for them and published them? How many half-done, abandoned projects do I have? I haven’t been good about actually DOING that. I’ve been saying for years (decades, really, and that … hurts to admit) that I want to write and publish original fiction. Sawyer’s Sixth Rule: Start working on something else. You must keep your writing on the market until it’s sold. You must refrain from rewriting, except to editorial order (Harlan’s addendum: and then only if you agree). Heinlein’s Rules keep coming back to haunt me:
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